EastEnders Who Killed Lucy? Live week review -- episode 1

Posted on February 17, 2015

Ghostly Lucy Bealetv

So. On Day #1 of EastEnders’ Who Killed Lucy? live reveal week, did Max fluff it? (That sounds wrong.) Twitter, fora and those in the media who hadn’t clearly written all but two lines of their review in advance remain perplexed about what the last line of Tuesday night’s episode actually was – i.e., whether Jake Wood as Max strictly said to pouty daughter Abi, ‘I know you killed Lucy’, rather than ‘I know who killed Lucy.’

It sounded clear enough from this sofa, i.e., the former. And Ladbrokes have cut the odds of Abi being the murderer from 8/1 to 4/1, although EastEnders viewers are probably in such a kerfuffle now (Was it Peter? No, he wasn’t there. OR WAS HE? Was it Ben? No, he wasn’t there. OR… etc) that it’s starting to seem plausible that Dot dun it by hitting Lucy over the head with a giant bible.

My money’s been on Abi for some time now, if only because I hope the scriptwriters haven’t been doing such a poor job as to give a previously sunny character a total personality change. Over the years, Abi has chirped her way through her mum and dad’s marriage breakdown, her sister trying to run her dad over, her dad shagging his daughter in law, and not murdering her own alcoholic sister when said alcoholic sister destroyed all Abi’s A level notes. (I am pretty tolerant of people In the Grip of Addiction, but if anyone had destoyed my painstaking A level notes I would have happily caved their skull in with Little Mo's iron.)

So either she’s Lucy’s killer, or Something (Else) Very Dark Indeed has happened in the last year that we don’t know about, or the scriptwriters are ladling it on with a slurry spreader in a gleeful disregard of narrative arcs. But there’s been form in that in Who Killed Lucy – New Year’s Day episode, anyone? The truth will out, my arse.

(Are you going to be pissed off and rant a lot when Lucy’s killer is revealed? Himself asked nervously when I required asked him to please ensure his [already-pyjamaed, already with dinner to hand] arse was home from work and on the sofa at 730pm precisely on Thursday night for the episode when Lucy’s killer is revealed. Of course not, I tinkled airily. But it depends. It depends if it is fair.)

Did Annie Wilkes kill Lucy Beale?

I don’t care if the killer is Abi, or Max, or Ian, or Jane or most of the other suspects. But whoever it is, it has to be fair and not a cockidoodie brat cheat (that’s Misery, that is, and Annie Wilkes was Right). It can’t be Pam Coker, because Lucy didn’t even know her. It can’t be a random killer who hasn’t been in the show.

And it can’t be an accident, as in Lucy finally succumbed to the head injury she got when she fell during the fight with Max, as per the car accident/Foxgate in The bloody Missing. I hope the scriptwriters have been reading Christopher Booker’s Seven Basic Plots (best book on storytelling eva, btw).

Also in Episode One, among more interminable stuff about Ian and Jane’s wedding we don’t care we don’t care we don’t care, and more fluttering-eyleashedlyRoxy acting about possibly Ronnie! Waking! Up!, we don’t care we don’t care we don’t care, there was a scene on Arfur’s Bench between two old hands. Sharon and Ian reminisced on the Albert Square bench about their teenage years, which resulted in Adam Woodyatt doing that simpering grin he puts on when Ian is Trying to be Sensitive and Letitia Dean doing the same. Don’t care.

Dot appeared to have gone doolally by talking to a (dead?) Nick, and Peggy Mitchell returned to be told ‘Get aht my pub’ by Mick Carter after she returned to try and throw her tiny weight around again. Just right she was kicked out too, the cheeky mare. (Although Danny Dire, another ‘I’m playing a hardass East End pub landlord/lady with a face as if I’m constantly constipated’ isn’t much of an improvement on the Queen Vic landlord/ladies I’d like to slap’ category. It's possible to act without eyes half-closed and head tilted to one side, Danny.)

Still, a good episode and an excellent doof doof. On to Episode II

Lucy Beale pic © BBC; used for illustrative and non-profit purposes only

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