EastEnders Who Killed Lucy? Live week review -- episode 2
Posted on February 18, 2015
Spoilers below, obv.
THEY’RE DOING IT AGAIN. Suspense is fine. Suspense is good. Taking the Mick Carter is not.
Tomatohead (Fill Mitchell) cornered Ian just before the wedding vows to growl at him ’e ’ad summat to say. Abaht Lucy, Ian, and doubtless millions of viewers thought, as this is after all Who Killed Lucy week.
But no. What Tomatohead had to say was left unsaid after son Ben came into the room – even though Fill and Ian had taken three scenes to have the unsaid unsaid. Grr. No need. (Yes, yes, I’m not actually obligated by law to watch EastEnders. But I’ve hung on so long now I’m going to bloody well see it through. Grr.)
Another few EastEndersisms from Episode II:
- The Ominous Thing is Found At The Last Moment. In this case it was the card Lauren left for Jane, saying (in most childish handwriting; is Lauren six?): ‘I know what happened to Lucy. She was killed at home.’ Jane finds it just as she’s about to leave for her wedding and…
- ...the Ominous Thing is put somewhere anyone can find it. From Bianca’s ripped up photo of her and David which Carol later found *on top of the rubbish in the bin*, to Emma Copdrip’s stuffing her confidential police file *into the kitchen cupboard at the Brannings’s* – why? Put it in your bag, for frick’s sake. Go upstairs and put it under the mattress. Put it in a public bin in the Square. Burn it. Eat it.
- A character reveals Something Hugely Important without even a glance over their shoulder to see who else might be awake/present/listening. Tonight, it was Dot telling unconscious Ronnie she’d ‘taken care of Nick’. Last night, it was Roxy and Charlie discussing in front of a waking-up Ronnie that they’d shagged and no-one must ever know. (And on that, is anyone in EastEnders capable of not shagging someone they’re not with? It makes me come over all moral as if I’m writing for the Daily Mail.)
- A character with an Unexpected Pregnancy goes to ‘the clinic’, only for other, non-pregnant, characters to burst in at the last minute and implore them to think of the baybeeee. Usually this results in the tearfaced pregnant character coming out of the consulting room howling ‘I couldn’t go fru wiv it’, as in Mick and Linda at the end of last year. (Not that anyone saw that coming.) Tonight, it was Max and Peter: Max demanding what Lauren’s intentions were ‘now that you’re pregnant wiv my grandchild’ and Peter using his dead sister’s memory to try and pressure Lauren into ’aving the baby. No pressure then, nineteen year old pregnant vulnerable Lauren.
- A character Undergoing Mental Turmoil gets inappropriately drunk and acts in a way 99% of people do not, even if inappropriately and traumatically drunk. Tonight it was the usually excellent Jessie Wallace hamming it up as drunk Kat; even her boobs were overacting.
- A character turns up for an event they ‘wouldn’t miss for the world’, in this case Tanya for Jane’s wedding. Weren’t around very much this year when Lauren was going mental/getting up the duff and Abi was undergoing a personality change like the American Werewolf of Walford, were you Tanya?
- So, it isn’t Abi. Or at least, it better not be after she told Max and Tanya it wasn’t. ‘I wanted to kill her, though,’ she says, in a lovely and creepily-delivered line that may as well have had her Mwhahaha-ing like Galadriel when she imagined taking the One Ring. Oh well. That means I guessed wrong and so haven’t won the competition to have a tour around Albert Square. Bah.
- Whitney’s been very quiet lately, only there in the background with an occasional line, as tonight. Maybe it was Whitney. I wouldn’t blame her.
- Ian doing that simper again, during the vows, then a worried simper as Jane seemed to have cold feet. 'What ’ave I done wrong?’ Ian whimpers. Apart from being Ian Beale? Is Jane going to wise up and leave without saying I do? Alas, no.
- ‘’Appy?’ Ian simpers to Jane once the vows are said and she is once more Mrs Beale. ‘Happy,’ Jane says. This sounded like an elocution lesson.
- The sombre Dot voiceover while all the camera pans all the suspects. If it’s Pam, I will throw something at the TV.
And on to Episode III. Revenge of the Sith, sorry, the Big Reveal. EastEnders, ten years’ worth of viewing could be over tomorrow…